Beautifully Broken


Book one in the Beautifully Broken series

A New Adult/Women’s Contemporary Romance

Please note, IF YOU STAY is not Young Adult.  It is mature New Adult, with explicit scenes, language and some drug use.

IfyouStay Amazon (2)

24-year old Pax Tate is an asshole.


He’s a tattooed, rock-hard bad-boy with a bad attitude to match.

But he’s got his reasons.

His mother died when Pax was seven, leaving a hole in his heart filled with guilt although he doesn’t understand why.  What he does know is that he and his dad are left alone and with more issues than they can count.

As Pax grew up, he tried to be the kid his father always wanted; the perfect golden boy, but it didn’t work.  His dad couldn’t overcome his grief long enough to notice and Pax couldn’t keep up the impossible perfect façade.

So he slipped far, far from it.

Now, he uses drugs and women to cope with the ugliness, the black void that he doesn’t want to deal with.  If he pretends that the emptiness isn’t there, then it isn’t, right?


And it’s never more apparent than when he meets Mila.

Sweet, beautiful Mila Hill is the fresh air to his hardened frown, the beauty to his ugly heart.  He doesn’t know how to not hurt her, but he quickly realizes that he’s got to figure it out because he needs her to breathe.

When memories of his mother’s death resurface from where he’s repressed them for so long, Mila is there to catch him when the guilt starts making sense.  Mila is the one…the one who can save him from his broken troubled heart; from his issues, from the emptiness.

But only if he can stop being an asshole long enough to allow it.

He knows that.  And he’s working on it.

But is that enough to make her stay?


You can find If You Stay on Amazon and on Barnes and

A companion novel is planned for the Beautifully Broken series.  It is titled If You Leave and will follow Madison Hill.


See how I imagine Mila and Pax, as well as the song that was on the top of my If You Stay playlist, here. 

Deleted Scene. (Please note, I deleted this scene because it is so steamy.  It’s intended for mature audiences.)



24 Responses to “Beautifully Broken”

  1. Christine February 10, 2013 at 1:58 pm #

    I have already purchased “If You Stay” and am DYING to read it…BUT…I have to know. I am slightly put off knowing it is the first in a series. I tend to wait until the series is complete because I have ABSOLUTELY no patience for waiting. Is there a true cliffhanger, meaning a sequel is coming? Or is it simply the 1st book in a series about a group of friends, family, etc.?? By the way, I have to tell you that your teasers are probably the BEST teasers (in terms of wanting to RUN out and buy a book) that I’ve EVER come across! Good luck and CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!

    • Courtney Cole February 10, 2013 at 2:18 pm #


      thank you so much for the compliment on my teasers. 🙂 I appreciate it.

      If You Stay is part of a series, but each book will be a companion novel to the others. Meaning, they will all focus on different main characters. For example, in book two, it will focus on Mila’s sister. Pax and Mila will make an appearance, but it will be Madison’s book. There are no cliff-hangers, I promise.

      • Christine February 10, 2013 at 2:26 pm #

        That is just the answer I was hoping for!! Thank you so much for the response…I already can’t get enough of Pax, just from the teasers alone. I will be starting it (and probably finishing it) today 🙂

  2. Courtney Cole February 10, 2013 at 2:29 pm #

    Yay! You’ll have to let me know what you think! 🙂

  3. Caitlin Hospodar February 10, 2013 at 10:54 pm #

    I Absolutely loved this book! A true love story for this generation. Gone are the perfect white fences, and the girls that need to be rescued. I love the independence of this book, as well as the plot of a rough, ragged broken down man who finds his salvation In the wholsomeness of a beautiful woman. Incredible writing by an incredible writer! I am anxiously awaiting Madison’s Story! Thank you so much for your gift!

    • Courtney Cole February 12, 2013 at 1:49 am #

      Thank you so much for your very kind words!! I’m so happy that you liked If You Stay. Thank you so much for taking the time to tell me. I really appreciate that! 🙂

  4. Chris February 13, 2013 at 5:52 pm #

    Loved loved loved this book. I couldn’t put it down! Any idea when the second in the series will be out????

  5. Molly February 16, 2013 at 1:29 am #

    I really want to read this book but I have a Sony e-reader. Any chance it will be released to Sony any time soon?

    • Courtney Cole February 16, 2013 at 4:09 pm #

      It’s not on that platform yet, but I’ll announce the second that it is. 🙂

  6. Ronda February 17, 2013 at 4:19 pm #

    I loved the book! I can’t wait for Madison’s story!

  7. Karen Garcia February 18, 2013 at 6:09 am #

    Courtney, I’m so glad I tried the sample of If You Stay via Amazon….I wasn’t far into it when I knew I needed to purchase and read the entire book. I’ve again discovered a new (to me), talented writer…..and of course, now I’m downloading the first book of your new adult trilogy Of Blood and Bone. Write on, dear author, write on!

  8. Alina Mac February 21, 2013 at 2:11 am #

    LOVE, LOVE, LOVE this book. I really wish you would make a second to this book

  9. Erin February 24, 2013 at 1:41 am #

    I have found a new favorite author! Love your books!!

  10. Lindsey February 26, 2013 at 6:28 pm #

    I finished the whole book in 24 hours loved it. When is number 2 coming out?

  11. Bonnie L February 27, 2013 at 11:33 am #

    I just want to know when IF YOU LEAVE will be coming out 🙂

  12. Nisha March 1, 2013 at 7:15 pm #

    Courtney…you can’t stop now the book was going so good…aaawwwww, there must be something else you can write about Mila and Pax, whew… that was a fabulous book!!! I loved it.. I will def add you to my favorite author’s list, can’t wait for book 2,how soon will it be out..keep up the great work..and god bless u and ur family. NISHA

  13. mai March 3, 2013 at 7:04 am #

    Hi! Ms. Cole,

    This book is an EPIC read…WOW! just WOW. I read it over and over because I really can’t get over with Mila and Pax’s love story it is so inspiring. I love Mila soooo much she’s so sweet and beyond amazing a GENUINE WOMAN to be exact. Her love for Pax is sooo PURE…she accepts everything about pax. And i love Pax too! and to be honest Its my first time to encounter a character like pax which really hooked and touch my heart for the first time. he’s a good young man for mila.

    By the way, I just look at your playlist with this book…And I was soo surprised and soo happy that JUST GIVE ME A REASON by PINK feat. NATE was one of them. I really have to admit that when I was reading this its the background song…and it feels like I’m just making a movie…The lyrics were so mush PERFECT for MILA and PAX…

    ONE WISH: If ever this story of yours will be on the big scree…I really hope that this is the Main SOundtrack….pleaaseeee….I SOOO LOVE THIS BOOK….



  14. Kera March 3, 2013 at 7:21 pm #

    Wow what a beautiful book. Will you be writing a second book for Mila and Pax? I love them so much. Id really love to hear how there life turns out. If they have any babies. There such a beautiful love story….

  15. emartin March 8, 2013 at 2:15 am #

    Have to say I loved if you stay please tell me if you leave is coming out soon I just cant wait to read Madison’s story.

  16. Mary Mascitelli March 13, 2013 at 6:45 am #

    Wow, I just finished reading If You Stay! What a beautiful story about Pax and Mila. I am sorry I did not discover this book sooner. I couldn’t put it down! I definitely have a new favorite author! I am anxious for Madison’s story to come out…and I will be reading your other books while I wait for it! Thank you for such a wonderful story.

  17. Shawna March 13, 2013 at 4:30 pm #

    Is there any chance on getting the paperback version of this book anywhere or at some point in the future? I really want the actual book.

  18. Misty May 9, 2013 at 12:35 pm #

    I really enjoyed these two in the book that I had to read it twice !!

  19. Leah K. August 31, 2013 at 8:27 am #

    Amazing story! I was up till one in the morning to finish it. I wish I’d found If You Stay sooner, but once I had the book I couldn’t put it down!

  20. Cint September 21, 2014 at 8:43 am #

    Any news on Dom’s brother’s book? 🙂

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