Random Post: Irrational Fears

13 Jun

Okay, so my friend Wren Emerson did a post and a Listopia list of her irrational fears the other day, which I thought was cool.  And then yesterday, I went to the lake and faced a couple of my irrational fears, so I thought that I would write a post about them, too.   Yes, I know.   Very random and unwriter-ly.  But it’s Monday and I’ve only had ONE cup of coffee so far, so cut me some slack.  🙂

My irrational fears:

  • Topping this list by far and away is my crippling fear of buoys.  Oh, yes, I said buoys… the dingy, nasty things that float on the water.  YUCK.  I have no idea why I am scared of them, but I can tell you that if I get anywhere close to them, I get instantly hysterical.  This includes the floating line that stretches across the swimming pool.  I know. I’m a nut. I can’t help it.  This fear also encompasses pretty much anything that floats in the water… floating logs/sticks, beach balls, BOATS, etc.   Which is very strange, because I like to ride in boats or on tubes, but there is NO WAY in this world that I could swim up to a boat or a tube floating in the water. NO WAY.  I think I would rather drown.
  • Second biggest fear is birds.  Any birds.  I think they are probably the spawn of satan with their flat black eyes and sharp beaks and they always seem to fly directly at your face.  So, no thank you on the birds.  Although, I’m not scared of owls.  My son pointed out to me yesterday that I’m incredibly weird for not being afraid of something that can rotate its head 360 degrees, but I’m scared of every other aviary creature on the planet.  So be it, I’m weird.
  • Wren and I share a weird fear– I don’t like to hang my feet over the edge of the bed- because somewhere, deep down, I’m afraid that someone is  hiding under my bed and is going to jump up and slash through my achilles tendons. 
  • Black toilet seats.  I have no idea why, but I have had this fear ever since I was a little girl. They scare me.
  • And speaking of toilets… I’m scared of public bathrooms in seasonal areas like beaches or amusement parks.  For some reason, when I am in there, I start thinking about how scary these bathrooms must seem in the off-season when no one is there.  
  • Also, I am afraid to reach into the tank of a toilet.  The floating thing in there reminds me of a buoy.  So, if my toilet starts running, too bad. It has to wait until my husband gets home to reach in and jiggle the little lever.
  • Pool drains.  Absolutely terrified of pool drains.  I cannot come within one foot of one. 
  • Okay, so this one isn’t a crippling, debilitating fear, but it is definitely a strong concern. I have a fear of being impaled while driving.   You know, if I am ever following a logging truck or something (because that is so common in Indiana, um, not) and the thin, sharpened logs come loose and one might spear through my chest.  Yeah.  It could happen.
  • I don’t like my closet doors open while I sleep. They need to be tightly closed.  I think deep down, I am afraid that something paranormal is hidden in my closet and will come out in the middle of the night. But of course, the flimsy little latch on my door will definitely keep it contained.  (Hey- I told you my fears are irrational).

And if we’re going to talk about how strange I am, I might as well mention my odd compulsions.  I have a couple of them. 

  • For some reason, and I don’t know why, but I strongly prefer my car radio to be set at number 8.  If not number 8, then it defintely should be an even number.  I don’t think that something bad will happen to me if it isn’t, but I still strongly prefer it. 
  • I need to have my bedroom doors wide open at night.  I don’t know why, but I don’t like it if it is half shut. 

So, there you have it.  My strange, unexplainable, irrational fears.  But I know that I’m not the only one… the guy at the pier yesterday (right after making fun of me for being afraid of buoys) told me that he’s afraid of peanut butter.  Peanut butter!  He’s deathly afraid that he will choke on it and die a horrible death of strangulation. 

So, obviously, there are some weird fears floating around out there. Feel free to chime in and tell me some of yours… If you do, I might start feeling a little more normal because after reading this list, I have to admit.  My son might be right.  I might be abnormally weird. 



6 Responses to “Random Post: Irrational Fears”

  1. Shellie Sakai June 13, 2011 at 2:42 pm #

    Sorry, you are not weird. Your son is wrong. I WILL NOT hang my feet over the edge of the bed. I have had this fear since I saw Critters. With their sharp little teeth, they could eat my toes before I knew what was going on! And a pet peeve, nuts in my food. If it has nuts I will not eat it. But, there is an exception to that rule (isn’t there always?) candy and ice cream. I can eat nuts in them because, they are not food. See totally illogical. But, it works for me.

    I salute you in coming out of the closet on your fears! LOL!

  2. Dani June 13, 2011 at 8:53 pm #

    Things under my bed and scary, monsters in the closet? Yup…..I agree. Still a little freaky even decades after they shouldn’t be. My weird irrational fears and quirks:

    1. bridges – I think I’ve seen that underwater car rerun of Mythbusters one too many times. It’s not a debilitating fear. I don’t refuse to cross bridges, but they make me nervous…..especially high ones…..that only have short, inadequate concrete barriers separating you from certain, watery doom.

    2. scary books – If I’m reading a book that is at all creepy, that is sending my imagination into overdrive, (re: under-the-bed and closet monsters) I can’t sleep in the same room with it. It gets to wait for me in the hallway until the sun is shining brightly once again.

  3. Carrie June 14, 2011 at 2:03 pm #

    Where would we be without the quirky inner-workings of the artist’s brain??!! I don’t even want to think about it! 🙂

  4. Courtney Cole June 14, 2011 at 2:07 pm #

    Thanks, ladies, for being so polite about my craziness. 🙂

  5. Shannon November 20, 2011 at 9:46 pm #

    i am afraid of buoys also, i am not sure why though. i took my friend up to maine once and we went canoeing, she started paddling toward a buoy and i tried to paddle away but i couldn’t, i had a panic attack and we almost flipped the canoe when i stood up and hit the buoy with my paddle (my eyes were closed) and when i opened them i saw the buoy bobbing away (not like floating away) and then we left. i would rather drown then have to swim up to one. i thought i was the only one with this fear……

    • Paolo December 14, 2012 at 11:14 pm #

      Shannon and Courtney, you are definitely NOT alone… I can’t get within 30 ft of any kind of buoy or moored gizmo, I would drown rather than touching the damn thing… and I searched the net, and there’s a LOT of people with the same fear.

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